Was Looking for an Ugly Bug Under a Rock
1757. Pennsylvania. A man has been hacking away at a thick tree with an axe.
“Bro,” he said. The man looked back startled. He was sure he was alone. “There’s an easier way to fell the tree. Here — take this.” He produced a shiny chainsaw with LED touch screens. “This is the super-max-turbo-supernova-vanilla-bean-3000-uwu-ABG-Lebron-James Chainsaw. But, I call him Tim.”
He scratched his head, never having seen such a thing, never mind an Asian boy. “W-who are you?”
“I’m Harry Potter.” He turned on Tim and felled the tree in half a second. The man was beside himself by the raw power of the super-max-turbo-supernova…. The Asian boy then put a sticker on the man’s jacket. “By the way, something crazy’s going to happen in about — lemme see — 19 years.”
Better Than Us
There’s always going to be someone better than us. We should be glad — maybe even super happy. Certain things just wouldn’t be possible if we were all the same. It’d be a boring world with only one flavor of boba. (Apparently, boba means something entirely different in Taiwan.)
Now, I’m not talking about anything outward. I’m talking about mindset. I’m talking about optimism and straight morals. Just like there’s always going to be someone who makes more money, there’s always going to be people that are simply kinder and more empathetic — almost in a way that makes you go, “Huh?”
Stop comparing yourself to other people, you ddongko ass. Stop focusing on your weaknesses and being envious of others who seem to have more. Don’t be like everyone else, who thinks life’s a rat race. It’s an utterly boring mentality that produces a boring, bored person. Instead, be excited — that things can be better because there are people that are better.
And then if you want, we can even emulate this improved mindset. It’s no longer about “Why am like this?” and more “Why is it so fun when I do it like this?”
After all, any surplus of happiness is in the mind. After food, water, and shelter, it’s the way you think that’s going to dictate and color your experiences. People that know how to discover strengths and leverage them to their advantage — these people are cool. And, if they are really good, they’ll make you believe that you can do it too.
It’s like—imagine a child at a park, looking for bugs. He goes around flipping rocks, but he gets bored because he keeps on seeing the same ones: roly-polies, millipedes, earthworms, and larvae. No matter what he does, he can’t find an especially ugly bug, a discovery that’d make his day. Before he knows it, he’s flipped all of the rocks. He sits on the grass, all sad.
But, another kid, a new kid, comes in with a shovel. She’s all ready with a red bandana and sticking her tongue out as she digs and digs.
“Watcha doing?” he asks.
“I’m looking for bugs!”
Before we know it, there are holes all over the park. They only found super long earthworms, but they were happy nonetheless.
“I’m Carl, by the way. What’s your name?”
“Ellie.” She titled her head. “Is your dad, Mr. Fredericksen?”
“How’d you know?”
“Your head is very squa — ”
The Asian boy appears out of nowhere.
“W-who are you?” the boy asks.
“Ron Weasley.” He produced a hi-tech shovel with radar. “There’s an easier way to look for bugs. This is the hype-beast-6000-funshine-sunshine-red-velvet-Kevin-Durant Shovel. But, I call her Susan.” He cracked his neck. “By the way, you guys are gonna be famous in — lemme see — 69 years.”
Epilogue
A bunch of children visit the museum to learn about colonial history. A jacket is on display.
“That can’t be right,” the teacher said. “How is that possible?”
“We don’t know either,” the guide said. “Carbon dating shows the sticker is a few hundred years old — despite it looking so pristine.”
The teacher crept closer and read the description:
Discovered in 1929, this jacket belonged to Hugh Smith the Lumberjack. Passed down the generations, his legend described a day in which he felled an entire acre with the help of a magical axe — given by a Native American named Harry Potter. What’s more intriguing, however, is the sticker on his jacket. It is without a doubt, a Twice sticker.
